A scary time, and a few more scars to add.

Hello friends and family. Some of you were aware that i was in the hospital again. I hamd an infection in my port-a-cath, the implant that allows me to have IV access when I need medicine. I knew it was infected. I was addmitted in the Banner Good Samaritan Hospital on Monday. I spent most of the night being shuffeled repeatable back and forth, and it took 1/2- 1 hour to get pain medication. Now i realize nurses are busy and I am not the only patient, but I am a paying patient who needs and deserves dignity and understanding. I waited and waited and got poked at least 2-4 hours a day, a few times a day, and every single insertion of aneedle feels like a razor blade. I spent alot ot time crying and upset. The docs came back and sid my blood cultures were all positive, which is not a good sign. They felt it has made its way to my heart, so the rest of the day and night I couldn't eat or drink at all , this beeing my second day of their fasting. Now being diabetic, that is not a wise move on their behalf. Needless to say, the short story is that they took my port-a-cath out of the right side of my chest in the surgery 1. Surgery 2 had to be a procedure to look at my heart in depth. The good news was that it had not yet attacked my heart valves. So that next day they took me again to the operating room to put in another port-a-cath (they could go ahead now that we knew the infection isn't in my heart, They thought they would try to get one in the left side this time becasue it would give my right side a chance to heal after having the one taken out. i said that I was always told by docs that my left side vein access was not able to ever work for intravenious devices. My doctor asked if I would have a problem with him at least looking for a good vein. I said sure. And they did, the got into the left side and had a complication on the table with me, something about a heart arrythmia being a possibility. I could feel something was wrong and going on. All the sudden it felt like being pushed back into this world again.. It was very vivid. To see the looks of panic and terror on the faces of all those in the room spoke for itself. They woulkn't elaborate on the details, which I want to see. But then t he last step is to shoot dye throug the port and see if it working right. When they did this, they discoverd I have a birth defect in my main veing they choose to use, and instead of going where it should, my heart, it goes to my spine. He said this is extremely rare but can form. He was so nearvous (the doctor) he could hardly look at my parent or me. I have never had the experience of seeing such fear and perplexion on someones face. The said that since I was already sewn up that I will have to come back to the hospital and do it all over again because they have to take the port they left in the left side, and take that out, then put another one back into the right side. I know it seems like no big deal, but it is such a big deal.I spent my nights in the hospital being poked over and oever again to find a vein to put in an IV. I cried repeatedly and I just wanted it to all go away. It is so painfull, physically and mentaly when you are chronically thrown into this environment where you don't call the shots. But, I have learned that you dao have the shots, you have a right to question what they are doing , why they are doing it, that is your right also to refuse anything you are not comfortable with. I always have a mental breakdown while in there. It's a struglle to get pain meds on time, or if at all. Nurses treat you like you are a drug addict because you want to be made comfortable in the hospital and so what if morphine IV works best, what does it really matter to them. We are the ones who have to endure the tourture of our own minds, There are certain comfort measures that need to be acknowledged and respected that are the patients wishes. I find the level of quality there pretty good accept I think all of the nurses and doctors and health care professionals should be andated to take a course in which they go to various hospitals and not doing the docttor thing, but become on a level the patient is at. It woule be a very valuable program to help bring this mentality of feeling superior back down to the people who need it, the patients, medical professionals could all work togeether.
Anyhow, Because I have been sick and in the hospital not much is able to happen withthe book. However, I will be featured on a major news station in Phoenix, so I will keep you all posted on that.

This time in the hospital was much scarier that any of my stays. I really had thought that because my bacteria was getting septic, and they were pretty convinced that it had gotten to my heart....it hit me hard. I honestly felt like maybe this was the time, like I am going out like this. But, from the experience on the Operating Room Table, I think that already happened, and once ag ain ,God has brought me back to finish what has not been done. I have learned to take it easy, not schedule so muhc, and I have to lear to say no when I know it is someting I would love to do, but it would ware me out to much. I just don't want my life to always be so fragile. I guess the rest of the world will wait. And if they dont, how much they'll miss. I hope this chat finds you all resting safely and happily.
Happy THanksgiving to you all
Thank you for all your support and prayers. God Bless Jennifer